There is a great set of rules, written by Catherine Geary, to follow if you want to be a highly unsuccessful writer. As they are valid for blog writes as well, I tried to follow them during the last weeks and I have to say that I have been progressing in successfully developing the said habits.
I am listing all of them here, together with my own experiences.
1. Always put off doing any writing, citing excuses such as the pressure of study, work , children, etc. Just never get around to doing it - then when you’re forty and going through a mid-life crisis you can look back on a life of procrastinating and think, “I have achieved absolutely none of my writing goals!” Remember, never do your writing NOW!
Not counting writing emails and countless reports and plans I produced during my daily job, I didn’t wrote a single completed peace of writing in the last couple of weeks. I don’t have to tell you that there were many unavoidable reasons: long working hours, working on a new Web project, driving my daughter every evening to her dancing classes,… Tell me, who would still have time to write, ha!?
2. Don’t ever establish a routine. Live a life full of surprises - always have friends, relatives and neighbors dropping in, tell everyone it’s okay to call at any time during the day or night, and always have a really long chat when they do. Get up very late in the mornings, party every night.
This might be little misguiding, because if you don’t establish a routine of not writing, one day you might catch yourself trying to, despite everything, finish the text you started long time ago. Having an efficient routine to avoid writing and do more important things instead will prevent this. Trust me!
3. Don’t keep any order amongst your notes. Scatter stories, articles and research all over the house for the dogs and/or kids to chew and draw on. Never purchase a filing cabinet.
You should only see my working table and you’ll know what it means.
4. Don’t ever read anything else but your own writing. Stimulating ideas and other writer’s wonderful prose just clutter the mind.
I admit, I failed here. I have three books open besides my bed and my sin is particularly big because those are, I am ashamed to confess, good books.
5. Never, ever rewrite. The first thing that comes into your head is always best.
Nonsense! Who would even think about rewriting something when there is so much time and effort invested into those first drafts.
6. Don’t establish contacts with editors or publishers and never send anything out. Keep all your writing at home, where it’s safe and warm.
O, yes, everything is there, prepared and I just have to attach it to the email. (To whom it may concern: I didn’t forget that deadline!)
7. Don’t believe in yourself. Chant this mantra - “If I don’t do anything, I will achieve nothing.” Good luck!
If I don’t do anything, I will achieve nothing. If I don’t do anything, I will achieve nothing. If I …
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